The Dish: Nothing Korny
When ESPN announced Tony Kornheiser would man the Monday Night Football booth, I smiled. I used to watch Pardon The Interruption all the time, and while its formula has gotten old and tired (perhaps primarily because the wizards at ESPN Original Entertainment have sucked the life out of it by trying to apply it to just about every other show on the network), Kornheiser was and is its unquestioned star. Plus, Tony the Tone-Deaf had a great radio show on ESPN Radio, on which he mostly refused to interview idiot jocks, and had actual, y'know, opinions on stuff. While the Dennis Miller experiment didn't work (I hardly thought it the disaster many others did, however), surely the more sports-savvy Kornheiser would bring true goofball sports humor to prime time. Um, not so far. Last Monday's debut, which featured the Oakland Raiders at the Minnesota Vikings, was one of the worst telecasts I've ever seen. Mike Tirico gets a pass, because while he's the ultimate jock-sniffer, he's the play-by-play guy, and as such has little opportunity to inject his own personality (of which, incidentally, there appears to be precious little). But the combination of Kornheiser and the insufferable idiot Joe Theismann (my favorite Theismann quote: "Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein") had me reaching for the mute button faster than you could say "Mike Patrick and Paul Maguire." First off, could someone please tell Tony to affix the headset more securely against his noggin? While Tirico and Theismann sounded as though they were, y'know, actually inside the building, Kornheiser seemed to be broadcasting remotely from a Washington-D.C.-area fish tank. Next, here were the first two things Tony the Tongue-Tied said: "You fumble a kickoff on a nationally televised game on the opening kickoff, and you want to crawl into a hole!" and "Reggie Bush is the kind of player people will pay money to see." Wow. Way to go out on a limb there, Tone! Theismann, a broadcaster who never met a dead horse he couldn't pummel, looks like Norman Einstein by comparison. (By the way, did you know that Theismann played the game? Of course you did, because he reminds you every 30 seconds.) Kornheiser was going to be a breath of fresh air in a profession -- color commentary -- too long dominated by the jock-ocracy: ex-players who've learned the 11 cliches necessary to sound competent to anyone who's only half-listening. (Tune into a Fox broadcast someday; without fail -- and with the possible exception of Troy Aikman -- the gorilla stuffed into a network blazer will say "he plays hard!" at least ten times.) So far, though, Kornheiser has swallowed his personality, and is caught halfway between being amusing and having anything relevant to say. At least Dennis Miller went balls-out, and talked about the Plantagenets. Any important conclusions we might draw from the first full weekend of preseason football? Bodog.com Bookmakers, BoDog.com: Let's start the conclusions with a direct quote from Clinton Portis: "I injured myself in a game I have no business playing in." You said it, Clinton! Stars are no more than sitting ducks in these games. So even though anyone who bet on Philly in the Hall of Fame Game was throwing darts at Andy Reid posters (do they even make those?) can you blame him for playing his fourth-string QB Timmy Chang for a large part of the second half? Pre-season football is dangerous. Coaches will be coaching scared until Week 1. What in the world is up with the St. Louis Cardinals? Can you see them missing the playoffs? Do they have any shot at all to go to the World Series? BDB, BoDog.com: The Cards definitely still have a shot at the World Series. Yes, they are 4-6 in their last 10, but the Dodgers are 9-1. That's just crazy, as is anyone who doubts at least a Wild Card spot for the Cards. Just look at who is in the hunt. Can you give us a glimpse at who you think will wind up being the MVPs of the American and National Leagues, and tell us why? BDB, BoDog.com: Close MVP races are usually decided in September, but who doesn't like Big Papi right now? Ortiz and his legend-building clutch play will likely walk away with it, as should Pujols in the NL. If only he hadn't been injured this year, we may have seen a run at the record books. Still, 35 home runs, 95 ribbies and 87 runs isn't too shabby with a .329 average halfway through August. What are your thoughts heading into golf's fourth major this weekend, the PGA at Medinah? Is it Tiger and everyone else? Are people crazy for betting on guys who aren't one of the top few golfers in the world? BDB, BoDog.com: You're never crazy to take the big payouts in a golf tournament, but when it comes to the PGA Championship, the big boys definitely come to play. Tiger, Phil and Vijay have split five of the last eight. Christopher Harris is a featured writer for the Professional Handicappers League. Read all of his articles at http://www.procappers.com |
Other Basketball Betting Articles
Reasons To Learn Poker Online There are many reasons people play poker online, one of the more common reasons used to be because they could not find a game locally and didn’t know anyone who played poker. Now the only reason to play online is because you choose to, not because you have to.Poker has arrived again. It is everywhere. The UK, America and overseas from gra ...OPS Will Help You Increase Your Profits When looking at baseball statistics, on-base percentage and slugging percentage are two very powerful numbers to look at. Putting them together and we get a combined statistic termed OPS. It’s nothing fancy but it can be a very useful tool when handicapping. Hitting home runs is nice but getting on base and knocking them around produces even mor ...Internet Poker Tournament: Are You Ready Online poker is becoming very popular currently. It is appealing to a wide variety of people. Poker in general has been gaining a lot of interest lately, and this is probably what has helped online poker gain some steam as far as popularity is concerned. A lot of times big casinos can seem to vary imposing and scary, so a lot of people that a ...Horse Wagering Options There’s nothing more exciting, to many, that spending a day at the track. Even if you don’t have access to a racetrack or a way to watch horse racing on TV, horse wagering can yield some great profits. Many horse-wagering individuals have hit the big score with a bet of just $1. Before you can place your bets and start winning, you need to ...The Future of Online Gambling - Where Will it all End Up? The popularity of online gambling has sky rocketed over the past 5 years. The meteoric rise in online casinos and poker rooms has made many people very wealthy. The owners of cassava enterprises (888) Avi and Aaron Shaked recently floated their company on the London Stock exchange, their company is now valued in excess of £700 million. Ruth Para ...Oriental Gambling The tree of gambling is growing and its roots expanding day by day. While few decades before the tree was deemed as a weed and left unattended, in recent years it has received immense attention and nourishment from different countries of the world. This is mainly because of two interrelated reasons- the alarming rate at which the gambling tree i ...Find Freeroll Tournaments The most effective way to familiarise yourself with Texas Hold’em tournaments is to locate and play in as many online poker freerolls as possible. You can’t beat playing in a real tournament to gain valuable experience and it’s even better when you don’t have to stump up any of your own cash to participate.However, finding suitable freero ...#56 Nevada Wolf Pack Preview Spring practices are in the books and fall camps will be here before you know it so that means getting an early jump on the 2006 NCAA football season. Knowing the teams now will save you time in August and Matt Fargo is here to help you get a grasp of what to expect this upcoming year. We go from worst to first in this 2006 College Football Prev ...College Football Parlay Cards Ah, college football. It’s one of the most anticipated sports season among sports bettors. If you are like most sports bettors, the words college football parlay makes you salivate. Step into any Las Vegas sportsbook on Saturday during the college football season and you will see lines of people frantically filling out hopefully soon-to-be winni ...Jamie Gold - 2006 World Series of Poker Champ Jamie Gold didn’t start out as a poker player. In fact, he started a career in the entertainment business at the tender age of 16, working as an intern for the prestigious firm of J. Michael Bloom and Associates Talent Agency in New York City.After completing high school, Jamie attended the University of New York at Albany and graduated ...Online Poker Is Not A Practice Run Poker has been around for a long time but the truth of realising that champions of the World Series of Poker were conceived virtually changed the game beyond expectation. Texas Hold’em became the game to play any time the heart had a twitch for it and not just in a boozy Friday night session. The online explosion means there is a game to be foun ...NBA Basketball Betting 2/2/06 - Lebron James vs Dwyane Wade Best: Cavaliers @ Heat: LeBron vs. Wade. Both players have had games where they scored 40-50 points but still lose the game. We do not expect a shootout from these two superstars just like there is no shootout between LeBron and Carmelo. Shaq has to stay out of foul trouble for Miami to win. Ilgauskas isn’t a hard defender but has an ...Learn How To Easily Find The Best Sports Betting Odds Now Any one who bets on sports for profit will want to make sure they are getting the best sports betting odds but it doesn’t matter what you are betting on, the fact of the matter is that the house is going to be sure to come out on top. They don’t build those billion dollar casinos with winner’s money! The best odds are generally a little better a ...Advantages to Playing Poker Online Playing poker online is a great pastime for a number of people. These people range in age from the just barely legal when it comes to playing poker online to people who are much older and looking to have a source of fun and excitement. While there are other venues in which to play poker games, there are a great deal more of people who utilize ...Sports Betting Analysis: Tampa Bay Over Philly and Denver Over Browns Have you ever wondered how the sports betting "smart money" became the smart money? Do you wonder what the sports betting smart money does differently than the amateurs? Sports betting is half art, and half science. The following two game predictions are a little of both.First, look at this prediction for the Philadelphia ...Blackjack Card Counting – The Odds Are You Won't Make Much! There is a huge myth around card counting that has built up that it is a road to riches.The reality however is different. The odds of making a lot of money are poor regardless of how good a card counter you are.Let’s find out why.Card Counting OddsThe best odds you can are about 1.5% in your favour.This is over ...What Would You Do With 100 Million A couple of years ago I arrived at work on the Monday to start my weekly grind of just earning enough money to pay the bills.One of my fellow workers was a guy in his early fifties called Phil. He like me was working his butt off just to pay the bills.He arrived this particular morning with a smile as wide as the River Mersey and i was ju ...2006 Purdue Boilermakers Season Preview Purdue is looking for a quick turnaround after their worst Big 10 season in recent memory. In fact, they missed out on bowl action last year for the first time since 1996. Coach Joe Tiller has signed 11 junior college players to help get some experience in a hurry. Purdue should make some big strides in 2006.The Boilermakers won just 3 Bi ...Limit vs. No Limit Texas Hold 'em Poker Games There are essential differences between limit hold’em and no limit hold’em besides the esthetic one that involves the presence of absence of limits.For once, when you are playing no limit hold’em you play a more methodic game. A skilled player can easily develop and apply strategies in no limit hold’em, much easier than in limit games. If ...The History of Poker Chips Gaming chips have been made from a wide range of materials in an almost infinite variety of styles since the birth of gambling and the need to keep track of winnings. The most common material types used today in the manufacture of modern poker chips are plastic, clay composite, and acrylic composite. Clay chips, the oldest of the bunch, have bee ...NFL Sports Betting and Running Backs In NFL Sports Betting, the running back is one of the most important players to think about. As we see it, here are the top five running backs, in rank order, heading into the 2006 fantasy football season.1. Shaun Alexander (Seattle) – Sure, you may hear some folks make a strong argument for Larry John ...Why a Poker Bonus is Offered There are many players who like to be able to play poker. They enjoy playing poker in a variety of atmospheres, both the physical world and the online realm. The challenges that are to be offered in such a stimulating and exciting game such as those found in poker are incredibly unique and appealing to players. Players are enthralled by the m ...Ohio State/Iowa Saturday Night College Football The Biggest matchup in college football this Saturday takes place in Iowa City as the number one ranked Ohio State Buckeyes take on the thirteenth ranked Iowa Hawkeyes. The Hawkeyes head into this one as seven-point underdogs, but I can assure you that this won’t be a gimme game for the Buckeyes. The last time the Buckeyes were in Iowa City two ...How Can You Make Money Using Online Poker Bonuses Many people gamble using the internet. This means that there is a pretty high demand for poker, casino, and gambling sites on the Internet. Because of this there’s a vast online poker market. With such steep competition in the online poker market, how is one casino or corporation to stay ahead? The answer comes in the form of online poker bo ...Lottery Winnings and Wheeling Strategies There are many different types of lottery games. Some of them are called lottery games like pick 3 and pick 4 games while pick 5, pick 6, pick 7, and mega millions are all Lotto games. Out of all of these games you can win a very small sum of money or you can hit the jackpot. Then again, you have the highest probability of losing any of the Lott ...A Crash Course on Casino Bonuses Online casinos have been flooding the online world lately. It seems that they have been trying very hard in attracting more and more players to try their luck at online casinos. They have been have been trying to think up of different offers to catch a potential player’s attention. One such promotion is offering different types of casino bonuse ...Always Play To Win There are a number of people involved in the world of gambling but surprisingly, these people are still unable to turn valuable knowledge into a consistent stream of gambling profits. Sadly, they will never be able to.They just want to play to “have fun”. Fair enough you may think, but what is so fun about losing money? Furthermore, what ...Video Poker Slots – The Basics You Need To Know To Win Although a slot machine game, Video Poker slots if you use strategy you can put the odds in your favor, which makes them highly attractive compared to normal online slots.Video poker slots also bridge the gap between simple slot machines and more complex table games, so it’s easy, you can use some skill and if you do, it can be a really r ...The History of Craps The history of Craps dates back to a dice game called Hazard, which dates back to Bernard de Mandeville in New Orleans in 1813. Hazard is thought to be a descendant of Azzahr, meaning ‘the die’-a game played by Arabs.The game evolved as it traveled from the Arab countries to France and then England. By the early 1700s, formal rules for Ha ...
|
