Marriage - Compromise
There is one key to making a successful marriage that is probably one of the hardest things in the world to do. It's called compromise. Why is this so hard? Simple. We may be part of a marriage but we are still individuals. And as individuals we have different likes and dislikes. It's not like we married a clone of ourselves, Our partner may not and probably doesn't like the same things we do. In some cases, such as the choice of a magazine we like to read, this isn't a problem. After all, if you're sitting in your corner reading the latest issue of Popular Mechanics, it isn't haven't any real effect on your spouse. But what about when it comes to watching TV and 9 PM prime time has just hit and your spouse wants to watch Desperate Housewives and you want to watch the football game? Then what? Well, hopefully these few tips and suggestions just might get you past these not so small problems. In the case of TV, with today's technology, this isn't very hard to get around. Of course it still does require some kind of compromise. With TIVO and digital cable, shows can be taped and watched at a later date. So there's no need to miss your favorite show, even if there are two things on at the same time. But that still means that somebody has to wait to watch their program, so a level of compromise is still needed. This can be handled very easily. Simply agree to alternate between who gets to watch live TV and who has to wait to watch their show. By agreeing to this schedule and sticking to it, you'll avoid arguments over what to watch on TV. What about when it comes to going out for dinner. You want Chinese but your spouse wants Italian. There are a couple of ways to settle a problem like this. The one is and this only works if you go out to eat often, to alternate preferences. One time you go to Chinese and the next time you go to Italian. If that doesn't work for you then a great compromise is to pick something other than your two main choices. Agree to maybe go to a diner or even a pizza place. There has to be something on your list of favorite restaurants and foods that you both can agree on that is neutral. Let's say you're looking through the newspaper trying to decide on a movie to go to. Your spouse wants to see some tear jerker while you want to see the latest kung fu flick. There are a couple of ways you can work this out as well. One is to agree to go see both movies on two different nights. If that doesn't work for you then the other choice is to look through the list of movies and see if you can't find something that you both agree on. Yes, it may take some work, but that's what compromise is all about. And if all this fails, then try thinking about your spouses feelings first. Sometimes it can be a really great feeling to be unselfish and do something just for your spouse. Try it. You may just like the feeling. Michael Russell Your Independent guide to Marriage |
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