More Men than Women Abuse Power
Since there are fewer women than men in positions of power, it stands to reason that fewer women abuse it. But there is a more intimate reason for the absence of women in the scandals of abuse of power. It is a psychological fact of life that women are more concerned about their insides than about insider trading. Women are inner-oriented and interested in everything—from the insides of their psyches to the inventory of their pantries. Girls are taught and rewarded for nurturing and supportive behavior, which requires self-examination and introspection. Boys, on the other hand, are taught that to be valued they must achieve and even be ‘heroes.’ Limits are stricter for girls; boys grow up to feel more comfortable scheming and testing out where the edge of the law is at home and in the community. In my practice I often hear parents say, “I never set a curfew for my son, because I know the girls’ parents set a curfew and the boys will be less likely to stay out longer than the girls.” The unspoken message is “Boys don’t need limits.” And for boys, the consequences of unacceptable behavior are less harsh. Unacceptable behavior in girls often leads to tangible negative consequences—suspension of allowance or privileges, being grounded or required to perform tasks—while the negative consequence for a boy is often merely, ‘a talking to.’ Boys get the message that scheming and flaunting limits is acceptable—or at least, that there is no real price to pay. Without limits, appropriate impulse control does not develop. Children look for limits, and unless they find them, they continue to push, becoming anxious when there seems to be no end to how far they can go. When a parent fails to set limits, the child feels unimportant and unloved. Limits and negative consequences for breaching them, on the other hand, reassure children that they are noticed and that someone cares. Lack of limits or of enforcement of limits, coupled with the societal message that males must be ‘heroes’ and achieve success, puts tremendous pressure on men to scheme and push the limits in order to be valued. Those who manipulate to get what they want believe they must perform, produce and create bigger and bigger acts of ‘heroism’ to feel valued and powerful, as well as in order to allay their fears of vulnerability (resulting from lack of impulse control) and the humiliation of failure (the ultimate sign of unworthiness). When women feel those fears, they lose their self-esteem, not their integrity. As a result, they berate themselves and work harder to succeed within the system. Being valued for achievement, success and ‘heroism’ produces arrogance and grandiosity: “I can do no wrong; I am entitled; I can do whatever I want and get away with it.” Preoccupation with their own gratification in combination with lack of regard for how others feel propels this behavior. Thus, in a vain attempt to fill themselves up, manipulators need bigger and bigger acts to fill the emptiness inside—not unlike the alcoholic—they become addicted to the chase and headiness of the win. It becomes an insidious downward spiral as they push the limits further and further to create the next emotional high. There is a healthy level of self-centeredness and self-involvement, a feeling of excellence that is the natural companion of true accomplishment. Indeed, a certain degree of self-centeredness and self-involvement is considered a prerequisite to success. But the pathological form of self-centeredness and self-involvement impels people to achieve for neurotic reasons. Closely tied to striving for achievement in unhealthy self-absorption is a need to fail. If your self-esteem is so fragile that you are unable to believe praise, you feel guilty and conflicted about success because you don’t believe you deserve it. Such people vacillate between a sense of undeserved success and a feeling of worthlessness. Whatever these people achieve is viewed as a means to an end—that is, the continual search for love and approval. They often don’t know what their moral standards are. They haven’t experienced consequences as a result of transgressing limits during the critical maturational stages. As adults, they get themselves in trouble as punishment for having gotten something that, deep-down, they do not believe they deserve to have. They are seeking the negative consequences and limit-setting that they wanted/needed as children. Bernard Ebbers, former CEO of WorldCom, Kenneth Lay, Chairman, Enron Corp continued to manipulate the system more and more until the people around him could no longer ignore or be a party to their flagrant abuse of power. Richard Nixon, et al, Oliver North, and more recently, Lewis (Scooter) Libby, Tom DeLay, Carl Rove, George W. Bush et al, are people who, on one level, want ‘the ultimate hero’ label, but on another level, they don’t believe they are worthy. Thus, they continually scheme, test and manipulate situations in ways that ensure they will eventually be caught. On a conscious level, the only thing they fear is being caught; unconsciously, they want to be caught because they feel out of control. They often profess the greatest respect for the law, and many are lawyers; yet, paradoxically, they push the limits of the law and when caught, their first step is to hire the best lawyer possible to manipulate the law in their favor—thus continuing their grandiose manipulation of the system. Futhermore, lawyers who manipulate the system are the lawyers who created the laws with loop holes and room for interpretation—perpetually continuing a self-serving system. It is only fair, however, to point out that the system works in the favor of justice as well. The profile of women who abuse positions of power is the same as that of men—with one exception. The exception is that they act for or because of a man, or have a man behind them. Sandra Brown, the first woman to launch a Federally Licensed Small Business Investment Company and many other innovative ventures, was convicted in Colorado for kiting $1.3 million. Her live-in companion and chief aide, a co-defendant, was behind her, as was her male attorney, who pleaded guilty and turned state’s evidence. Acting for a man were Bess Myerson and Judge Hortense Gable, indicted on charges of reducing Myerson’s lover’s alimony settlement in exchange for a job for the judge’s daughter in Myerson’s office as Commissioner of Consumer Affairs of New York City. More recently, Martha Stewart reportedly committed insider trading on the advice of her friend and confidant, ImClone Systems CEO, Sam Waksal. Stewart was convicted of four counts of obstructing justice and lying to investigators about a well-timed stock sale —not insider trading. As her accomplice, Stewart’s male stockbroker was convicted of the same counts. What can be done? If you are a parent, set limits for your children both male and female. If the limits are transgressed, enforce negative consequences immediately. If you are a boss or manager, hold all employees accountable for the methods they use to achieve a goal. Lines of responsibility and accountability need to be outlined in performance standards and judiciously followed with consequences for non-compliance. But remember: “Negative consequences” does not mean “punitive.” Punitive invites retaliation and damages self-esteem. Verbal berating and hitting/spanking are examples of punitive consequences, as is any consequence out of proportion to the offense. An appropriate negative consequence for missing a curfew, for example, would be taking away the car for one weekend evening, or two evenings for a second offense. A younger child could be penalized by making her stay in her room for an evening without TV and or items of amusement. If the child is angry about the consequence, empathize rather than punishing further. Talking with your child regarding how he/she is in control of whether he/she has consequences is highly effective. The anger is appropriate, and additional punishment would be punitive. Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Entrepreneur, personal and professional Life Coach has 25 years experience. She has consulted to professionals with IBM, AT&T, Exxon, Mobile, Merrill Lynch, First Boston, FedEx, USPS. http://www.drdorothy.net |
Other Trading System Articles
Crude Oil - Big Profits Are Being Made Are You Being Left Out? Have you missed out on the recent huge move in crude oil? If you have and you are wondering if crude oil will stay high then this article is for you.Here we will outline the factors driving crude oil prices and how you can get involved and make huge profits, even if you have never traded before!Black goldThere remains no via ...Avoid The Paypal e-Cheque Scam - It Could Cost You! As the internet grows and more people begin to buy and sell, online payment facilties will accrue more members daily. The largest and currently one of the most popular is Paypal.Whilst Paypal make every effort to ensure its members safety, an entire fireproof system, can prove to be very difficult to produce. Everyday, there are members w ...Corporate Bonds - Is It Safe To Invest In Corporate Bonds? Corporate bonds are like lending money or providing a loan to a business. The lender loans money to a company or corporation, in return the corporation pays you interest on the money that you have lent them. The company that has borrowed the money commits to you or gives you their promise that they will pay back the money borrowed on a pre-arran ...The Stock Trading Plan - Why You Must Have One To Trade Successfully This is the continuing story of our two imaginary traders, Peter and Paul.Peter is a professional trader, Paul is not. Peter has a tested, proven, written trading plan that he follows each time he enters a trade, Paul does not.Peter and Paul have had vastly different Stock trading experiences - Peter has just made another substanti ...Forex Day Trading Tips You Need to Know The popularity of forex currency trading system continues to grow as more and more people have realized the potential income that they can earn from forex trading.With a massive daily profit of $1.5 trillion, forex trading has definitely surpassed the combined profits of bond market and global stock market. This is probably the main reaso ...FOREX Online System Trading- For Bigger Profits The rise of the Internet and cheap powerful computers has made FOREX online system trading a reality for any trader, novice or pro.Now its possible for individual traders to manage their funds and target 30 – 50% annual compound growth.The advantages of FOREX online system and how to choose a good one are outlined in this article. ...Commodity Trading - Advantages and Disadvantages What Is Commodity Trading?Commodity futures markets allow commercial producers and commercial consumers to offset the risk of adverse future price movements in the commodities that they are selling or buying.In order to work a futures contract must be standardised. They must have a standard size and grade, expire on a certai ...Learn To Like Your Losses Sounds almost morbid doesn't it?Well, maybe it is....but losses are a fact of life and your ability to take them systematically without fault is key to your long term success.You see, every system ever designed and traded has suffered losing trades and most have had several losing trades in a row. Even short term systems that pur ...What Are the Hidden Odds of Trading Anyone who is vaguely familiar with gambling knows that the house has the odds in their favor. Do some people leave a casino with large winnings? Yes, but that's because they left before they lost it back to the casino. If they had won and then continued to play long enough it is a mathematical certainty that would lose all of it back to the hou ...Solar Power Saves on Electricity Bills A typical solar system will reduce the need for conventional water heating by about two-thirds. Often the plumbing from a solar heater connects to a houses existing water heater, which stays inactive as long as the water coming in is hot or hotter than the temperature setting on the indoor water heater. When it falls below this temperature, the ...Home Security Home security is an issue to which we all need to give considerable thought. The combined amount of money lost in the 2.1 million burglaries in 2003 was 3.5 billion dollars. According to the FBI, 65.8% of these burglaries occurred at personal residences. You need to understand how to formulate proper home security. This understanding include ...The Russian Marriage Agency From Hell If she does not speak English, you can usually arrange through the local marriage agency to have a translator on the call. This may cost you ten to twenty dollars per hour, but at least you will be able to converse with each other.Other resources are local universities that have university students who are studying English. Usually their ...E Currency Exchange Scam Are you sick and tired of those HYIP programs that claim you will get rich or make millions fast? I know I just had enough of them that is why I did my homework and researched the best work at home programs on the internet.E currency was the business that everyone referred me to. So I found a book that taught me how the e currency exchang ...Stock Day Trading In order to trade stocks during the day, you need to know what to look for in the stocks you are buying or selling. The attributes that you should be concerned with are liquidity, volume, volatility and price transparency.Liquidity is important to a trader who requires fast executions a predictable prices, It is based on factors such as t ...Former Enron Chief - Kenneth Lay, et al - Society's Lesson Lay 'Shocked' by Enron Verdict—Former Enron Chiefs Convicted in One of the Biggest Business Scandals in U.S. History--headline for one of the first articles written about the verdict of former Enron Chiefs Kenneth Lay and Jeffrey Skilling By Kristen Hays, the associated press, jumps off the page with stark clarity.One wonders how either ...Precision Money Management This article describes the model of a natural relationship between trading system performance, trade position size, stop loss settings and profit goals. The model consists of algebraic equations that specify the trade size and stop loss settings needed to meet profit goals over a specified time period for any consistently used trading system fo ...A Forex Trader's Biggest Enemy The biggest enemy to most forex traders is not the market or their trading system but the use of leverage. When using too much of it, most of times it will take your account serious down, even with one single trade.Last week, a new forex trader showed us his account statement and asked what he was doing wrong. After taking ...America's Great Advantage Creating Divergent Industries The American economy is the growth engine of the industrial world and will continue to be so, as long a steady stream of innovative, divergent products is successfully created. The history of capitalism is replete with cycles of unique, needed advances that exponentially expand the economic base and evolve into completely new industry categories ...Uranerz Energy Plans to Mine Wyoming Uranium by 2010 Glenn Catchpole told StockInterview that Uranerz Energy (Amex: URZ) should start mining uranium in Wyoming by 2010, “We are out somewhere between three and four years before can start putting uranium in the can.” As the only pure uranium exploration company trading on the American Stock Exchange, Uranerz executives are confident they will actual ...Forex Trading Software - I Cannot Find Anything! There are many reasons that Forex trading software has made the Forex market even better. Forex trading software has smoothly integrated different currencies and their corresponding markets from around the globe. This integration has made it a reality for the Forex traders to be able to conduct business twenty fours of the day. Forex software ha ...Forex Currency Trading - Is It Right For You While in some ways currency trading is easy, many people who enter the market do not make money. Online Currency Trading is not a difficult process if you take your time, do your research and understand the market. Over three trillion dollars worth of transactions take place everyday in the currency market and online currency trading is now avai ...Believing these Six Myths will Slash Your Currency Trading Profits Below you will find the six common beliefs followed by the bulk of traders - and if you believe these myths as well, then they will restrict your chances of making significant currency trading profits.Ninety percent of currency traders believe at least one or more of these myths - which explains why ninety percent of traders don’t make mu ...The Holy Grail of Day Trading New traders search for their Holy Grail because they get a sense of control when they use entry signals to open their positions. They want the point they choose to enter the market to be the point at which the market is doing exactly what they want it to do. If they can find this point, a novice trader will often feel like they have some sort of ...
|
