Forgiveness - Ordinary Acts
Many religions and cultural belief systems staunchly abide by "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth", Exodus 21:23-27. The phrase expresses a principle of retributive justice also known as lex talionis (Latin for "law of retaliation"). The premise for this form of law is the principle of proportionate punishment, often expressed under the motto "Let the punishment fit the crime", which particularly applies to mirror punishments (which may or may not be proportional). At the root of the non-biblical form of this principle is the belief that one of the purposes of the law is to provide equitable retaliation for an offended party. It defined and restricted the extent of retaliation. This early belief is reflected in the code of Hammurabi and in the laws of the Old Testament (Exodus 21:23-25, Leviticus 24:18-20, Deuteronomy 19:21). The Old Testament prescription "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth" has often been interpreted, notably in Judaism, to mean equivalent monetary compensation, even to the exclusion of mirror punishment. Mahatma Gandhi commented on the lex talionis: "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth and the whole world would soon be blind and toothless." Gandhi has a logical point. Considered difficult to do in practice, many belief systems (Christianity, the Tao and Buddhism) teach to forgive those who wrong them, rather than seek retribution for a wrong. In Jesus' Sermon on the Mount in the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus says: "You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you." (Matthew 5:38-42, NIV) “Turn the other cheek,” is frequently interpreted to mean that one allows him/herself to be abused. No one wants to be abused, therefore, this misinterpretation prompts people to believe ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth’ is our ‘God given right.’ Many people think only pacifists turn the other cheek. “Turn the other cheek’ means to avoid acting in kind—i.e. retaliate. Other belief systems adhere to similar concepts, such as the Taoist wu wei which encourages a wronged individual to simply accept the infraction and to take the least "resistive" action to correct it, if any action need to be taken at all. Buddhism emphasizes the weight of karma: one can take retributive action, but that retributive action is not without its consequences, and living on a finite planet guarantees that the suffering incurred by a retributive action will return to the individual who was wronged (as well as the one who did the wrong-doing). Some subscribe to the Golden Rule of ethics rather than any law of retaliation. Ordinary acts of forgiveness can be observed daily, however, it is the least reported news. ABC TV anchor, Charles Gibson interviewed several Amish families after a shooter killed five girls and critically wounded six others, October 3, 2006. Gibson commented, “It didn't take long for us to learn that the Amish families most affected by this tragedy have responded in a way that might seem foreign to most of us: They talk about Monday's school shooting only in terms of forgiveness.” "We're just trying to support each other and trying to let it sink in," said 17-year-old Dorothy King.” This ordinary act of forgiveness received a mere fifteen minutes of air-time. Whereas the chest beating, retaliatory reaction to the WTC (9/11) attack has received hundreds of hours of air-time—news reports, interviews and movies. We saw the President of the United States, George W. Bush standing at the WTC site on a mega-phone with a college jock swagger shouting retaliatory statements. It is no wonder the majority of people believe retaliation is the accepted and honorable way to react to an egregious wrong—in spite of what their religious beliefs or integrity stands for. Buried behind all the popular news stories of sensationalism, gore and chest beating retaliation is another wonderful story of ordinary forgiveness. In spite of the environmental, physiological, psychological damage reminding the Vietnamese of war everyday, they practice forgiveness towards the United States. Many American soldiers have returned to Viet Nam to express their regrets and seek forgiveness. Without exception these soldiers have been amazed at the undeniable forgiveness they were greeted with. To the Vietnamese forgiveness was the only answer to moving on. The Vietnamese fought the Chinese for a thousand years, the French for a hundred and the Americans—1962 -1975. They celebrate the end of many years of violence and war—their country is now at peace. They help each other and have accepted the tragedies without compounding the sorrow and misery. June 21, 2005, Prime Minister Phan Van Khai, visited the White House, the first by a Vietnamese leader since the end of the Vietnam War, said, relations between the two nations have "entered a new stage of development." Mr. Khai and President Bush announced that Mr. Bush would visit Vietnam for an Asian summit meeting. Bush is the second president, besides Bill Clinton, to visit the country since the end of the war in 1975. The prime minister's meeting with the president marked the 10th anniversary of normalized relations between the longtime combatants. The United States has become Vietnam's biggest trading partner, with $6.4 billion worth of goods traded in 2004. Although, these examples of forgiveness are connected to horrifically egregious acts of violence, there are thousands and thousands of other stories of people forgiving their offenders. These stories may appear in the back pages of the newspaper or never reported. Nor would they necessarily need to be reported. However, it is incumbent upon each of us in our journey to learn the art and act of forgiving, to seek stories of those who have chosen to forgive, no matter the hurt or pain. They can become your role model. If the Amish and the Vietnamese can do it, so can you. Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, international speaker and inspirational leader specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net |
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