Power Dynamics in Relationships
Look for the true relationship that exists. And you can extrapolate it to once you have cognition of relational and behavioral elements. It's everywhere. When you see a photo of Angelina Jolie with Brad Pitt following behind her; guess who has the real power and upper hand in that relationship? She OWNS him in that relationship. Yes, the man who used to be a #1 bachelor. If you choose a so-called 'Aphrodite'; a wonder woman who is used to being the lead and stimulus in a relationship, you're going to end up making all kinds of compromises just to be around her and accommodate her. She has become this person who is so powerful; essentially like a man used to be. You can't change her because she is now like a man. The older she is, the more she is set in her independent ways. The best that most men do is just 'cope' with it or view marriage as 'she owns me'. I even saw that reference in a beer ad where the guys went out for the bachelor party and it was the last night before she 'owns him'. This is tragically sad. Marriage is supposed to be a blessing and a wonderful relationship; not the doom of man. I went to rent a tux (I know, I don't own one yet though) and saw the tongue-in-cheek shirts on the wall. "I do." "I do what she says." That's funny but tragically it IS the true relational reality that exists in many relationships especially in America. That is no laughing matter because those men ARE repressing their full potential in that relationship. If you choose a wonder woman, be prepared for all kinds of consequences. If you think you're 'lucky' just to be around her (that's a huge yellow flag); is that worth trading your manhood and destiny for? So when it comes to dating, first of all STOP overrating these women. If you knew what it was really like to live with a diva, you would think twice. As a man, if you're not the stimulus in the relationship for her to accommodate you (the natural and traditional way) there is going to be drama. At best you could find an equal ground and both make compromises. So many couples get divorced and blame it on everything but the real reason; the development and empowerment of the woman herself. I would daresay, in most cases it is not the man's fault. Sure he may get a little more relaxed and slobbish after marriage but he's being himself. Is he more to blame than the woman who starts challenging him, nagging him and instead of building him up and doing her part, breaks him down? To the credit of women and maybe .1% would ever admit this; they ARE who they are because of Causality. It was their social environment, upbringing, influences and experiences that allowed them to develop into uniquely who they are (more than nature itself). Once you can realize that all of this behavior and power at it's root is always Causal, you'll be able to start relieving some of this burden. Not ALL relationships are screwed up. Not all women nag. For instant proof, look at cultural differentiation. Compare more natural or traditional women to the reality that you see everyday where women use and often abuse their power (look at the legal system). Women who are more traditional and 'less develop' know how to take care of their man, support him, allow him to earn more, and keep the family together. It's statistically proven. How are these women different? How are Asian-American women different from Asian women? Because of their causal social environment. They had different influences, different roles models, different opportunities and even a different language (thus a paradigm of thinking). And you can't say that 'independent women' are 'better' because look at our relationship reality. A 50% divorce rate? Is that worth the price? In some ways, yes. In others, no. I love my independent girl-friends and X's but to marry one and compromise my level of power and influence? No. Just understand the reality of what's going on and know your relationship to the root of this behavior so that you can live a free and empowered life yourself as a man. Cognition of these social and relational dynamics will not only give you more power in life, but a lot more freedom to make the right decisions for yourself. In new relationships, you'll be able to see yellow and red flags before things get too worse instead of remaining ignorant and then getting yourself in a depressing situation. When you do have an awareness and aren't ignorant to the true 'power' (and most women know they have it), you'll be able to prevent or stop yourself from being abused or used and you'll be able to lead the relationship like you're supposed to or let her go. Rion Williams is one of the foremost experts in dating advice, personal power and relational dynamics. He is well-known within the seduction community itself. His work focuses on the regaining and improving of real character within frustrated men who do don't want to 'act', use pick-up lines or techniques to get women. He teaches modern men how to truly be natural and comfortable in their own skin to consistently succeed with women, attraction and dating. You can sign up for his free eZines and find out more information at http://www.relationaldynamics.org He also has a free podcast at http://www.lifestyledatingradio.com |
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